Truth
is, everyone is a bit of a narcissist but when you should a pay
attention is when either all these signs are present in one person or
the expression of one of these signs in an individual is alarmingly
excessive. A narcissist is typically a person with an overwhelming need
for admiration, an inflated sense of their own self-importance and lack
of basic level of empathy for others.
Rule Breaking
Narcissists
typically enjoy getting away with violating and breaking rules and
social norms. The key word here is ‘enjoy’. They take pride in being
above the law and in being able to persuade people to give them
exceptions to their rules.
Violates Boundaries
A
narcissist mostly disregards people’s thoughts, feelings, possessions
and physical space. They overstep and use others without consideration
or sensitivity. They hardly respect boundaries. Narcissists also break
promises and obligations repeatedly, are hardly dependable, show little
remorse and blame those they offend for their lack of respect. They are
never the ones to blame.
Likes to Impress Others
For
a narcissist, everything is done to impress others and look good
externally. Even when they seem generous, they’re only generous because
of how good it makes them look to others. They have a ‘trophy’ or
‘achievement’ complex and use people, objects, status, and/or
accomplishments to represent and celebrate self.
A Strong Aversion to Criticism
Even
when the criticism is constructive and is communicated in the kindest
possible way, a narcissist will take offense. They are hyper-sensitive
to criticism in a way that can be excessive, violent and almost
ridiculous. For them, criticism is an attack on their magnified sense of
self and self-importance.
Everything is Personal
Narcissists
tend to take everything personally because they see it as an attack on
their person. They are often defensive and have a reactive anger to not
being recognized, being disrespected or not being able to have their
way.
They Love Flattery
It's
mind boggling how much a narcissist loves flattery. Regardless of what
you do to them, once you are able to flatter them with the right words,
they will totally and completely forgive you. They might even forget
altogether that you even offended them in the first place. Flattery is
the best way to avoid conflict with them.
They Probably Don’t Know They are Narcissists
This
isn’t too surprising since they are typically very self-involved and
nothing is ever their fault. It’s usually after a narcissist has
developed so many problems that they start to wonder and ask themselves,
‘I feel so great. I know I’m awesome, but why does everybody not like
me? Why do they all leave me?’. This is one of the major reasons it’s
initially difficult to help a narcissist; you would mostly have to wait
till they get to this stage before you can offer them any help.
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