Typically
jealousy can be quite flattering especially when it's from a partner,
but the reality is that, after a while, dealing with a jealous person
can get quite difficult and frustrating. Learning ways to deal with a
jealous person can help you to eventually establish a healthy
relationship with the person.
Try To Understand the Reason for Their Jealousy
This
largely involves trying to understand the specific triggers, reasons or
roots for feelings of jealousy in the person that will help you
effectively deal with the situation. Basically what you should
eventually understand is that the jealousy of a friend or partner isn’t
particularly motivated by who you are but by something you possess that
they either wish was theirs or they could keep all to themselves (i.e.
unwilling to share with any other).
Try To Avoid Pampering Them
You
should be understanding to the person quite alright, but try to avoid
responding to and validating the feelings of jealousy your friend or
partner has. This doesn’t mean you should ignore the person or ignore
the fact that they are jealous, but more like you should not let the
fact that they are jealous dictate and control your actions and
reactions towards them.
Avoid Their Jealousy Triggers
In
trying to understand the reason for their jealousy, once you have been
able to identify certain things you do or certain situations that
trigger or incite feelings of jealousy in a friend or partner, as much
as you can, try to avoid doing those things amidst them or being in
those kinds of situations with them.
Talk to the Person
Talk
to the person and be open about your feelings (however, be careful with
your words and don’t be insulting or caustic with your words in the
name of being truthful). Communicate to the person about certain
behaviours they exhibit when jealous that bothers you, how you feel
about them, how they affect you as an individual and how they affect
your relationship with the person. Sometimes a jealous person is unaware
of their irrational behaviours, so you have to gently and patiently
communicate this.
Distinguish Between Relationship Abuse and Jealousy
There
is quite a thin line between these two so you have to be careful and
meticulous with this one. Be vigilant and sure that the jealousy of this
person has not escalated to some kind of emotional abuse to you. Once
physical abuse has begun that’s all the sign you need and will ever need
to leave immediately.
Try to Address the Person’s Insecurities and Trust Issues
The
only thing that can truly help a jealous person get better is when
he/she is able to effectively deal with their insecurities or trust
issues. This is because insecurities and trust issues are the underlying
causes of feelings of jealousy. For trust issues, the both of you can
try to take active roles in building trust in the relationship by simply
deciding to trust one another no matter what. Insecurities require a
bit more effort but once the triggers of the insecurities are
identified, it’s possible to effectively deal with and overcome the
insecurities.
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