Emotional
intelligence is a different kind of intelligence that involves being
able to identify emotions (in yourself and in others) to understand
their effect and use that information to guide your feelings, thinking
and behaviors. Emotional intelligence is a skill that is sharpened with
practice; no one is born with the automatic tendency or ability to
manage their emotions.
You’re Reflective
You
think about feelings a lot, you’re reflective and tend to question your
feelings. You ask yourself questions like, “Why am I feeling this
way?”, “Does my feeling this way make sense?”, “What caused me (or
someone else) to say or do that?”. You’re mindful of your emotions and
reactions; you get the answers to your questions and use the information
to your advantage.
You Ask Others for Perspective
Emotionally
intelligent people understand and appreciate the fact that others might
not see things their way and might view these things from a completely
different angle. They typically believe that it’s not about right or
wrong but about understanding how and why perceptions differ.
You’re Courteous
This
might seem surprising but you’ll marvel at how disrespectful an average
person is in their interaction with others. This disrespect is not
particularly because the individual is rude, but mainly because it
doesn’t occur to him/her that they’re being rude in their actions.
Emotionally intelligent people tend to recognize the power of common
courtesy, expressions of appreciation and small words of exchange to
strengthen relationships.
You Know When to Pause
You’ll
often find that emotionally intelligent people tend pause in the middle
of a conversation or when asked a question to think before they speak.
Theirs is a distinct pause that doesn’t come off as nervous but
contemplative. They understand and value the power of a pause and have
learnt to use it efficiently before they act or speak.
You Explore the ‘Why’
Emotional
intelligent people tend to be quite investigative. They ask a lot of
questions (which can sometimes be annoying) but they do so in bid to
understand the reason behind behaviours and actions. They do this to
develop qualities of empathy and compassion. They are typically very
understanding people because of this trait, and can relate to almost
anyone.
You Know Your Weaknesses
It
takes a lot self-reflection, insight, courage and strength to be able
to identify and admit weaknesses. Emotionally intelligent people have
learnt to do this often and are well aware of their weakness. They do
this because they know that the only way to overcome a weakness is to
identify and admit it, before taking active steps to deal with it. After
analyzing their weaknesses, they then develop strategies for
encountering them in the future.
NOTE: Emotional intelligence is a skill you develop over time. No one is born with it. It is learned.
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